Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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