just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
