You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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