ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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