this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
