No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
