And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
