I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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