I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize