I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize