i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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