I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
