please come you make the beer taste better
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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