I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How external is "for external use only"?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
