I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
