WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
