I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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