I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
