Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize