im drinking this country out of the recession.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
