No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
They took my balls.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
