Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
