i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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