I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
