we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
50% drunk capacity currently
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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