New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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