My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
now i know why i became what i already was.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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