Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize