put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
