C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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