i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
