i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize