Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize