She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
