somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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