she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
