The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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