dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
