I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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