i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
