9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
