just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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