i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
