and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize