i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
