You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
