So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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