5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
