I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
