i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
