508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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