WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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