he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
