the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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