I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
