Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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